I have foreseen the future

Today I saw my life, twenty years down the road, via my awesome English professor. She read us a sweet essay she wrote entitled: "Thirteen Ways of Looking at Loneliness." It's about being a single woman in the church, which, until today, I never realized she was. I guess I never bothered to look at her left hand to check. She just seemed so awesome; I assumed. But she's turning 40 this year and has never been married. She's actually one of the best professors I've ever had, but even more, she's one of the coolest people I've ever met. I've often chatted with her after class about random stuff as we walk across campus. Yep. I've become THAT girl--the one who hangs out with teachers. But hey, they're funny and love to talk about books. Is there a better combination? Not for me there's not!

Anyway, as I was saying..this essay is just fantastic. I'll have to post it when I actually get a copy of it. I gotta ask I suppose. It made me more aware of loneliness than ever before! And it made me scared that this is my future! I will probably end up just like Sister Gee--the cool English professor (not at BYU-I, however. :) who reads books alone at night and goes to book clubs and has a few cats or so. Don't get me wrong. I thirst for education and a chance to contribute something to society. Especially where books and literature are involved. I would gladly be that woman and be single. But after 15 years or so, I can't imagine being thrilled about going home to a book and an empty house.

Anyway, this is a random blog. I have foreseen the future and it is awesome! Thanks Sister Gee!!

My life is my life!

I'm sitting in the library "studying," where I write most of my blogs. haha. Just returned from Thanksgiving break, which was relaxing and Monopoly-filled. I finally developed a healthy respect and even adoration for a favorite family game called "London." It rocks. I've always been too lazy to learn it I suppose. I never have been a big card gamer. Or gamer in general, for that matter. But something's happened and I'm obsessed now.

The clouds took a massive, disgusting dump on Rexburg, and it's freakin nasty here. Why, oh why did I choose THIS college town?? I take comfort in the fact of my impending graduation/ instant departure from this place! July just can't come fast enough.

I don't know where I'll go, but I can't wait to get there. And for some reason I'm not worried about getting there. It will work out, declares my faith! It's sort of funny, though, the whole concept of finding where you belong in the world. For so long I've "belonged" in Texas, or Idaho, or even Florida, or (dare I say?) Utah. By "belonged," I mean had obligations or responsibilities that kept me there. But now, where do I "belong?" Where will I call home now?

The great thing is, "the world is my oyster!" And all that crap.... But really. A very big (and daily expanding) part of me, begs to run far far away...like to London! Or just to get lost in Europe for a while, and heck...maybe even work somewhere. I'm just not satisfied with a lack of adventure. Perhaps this is a huge character default :), which I'm willing to accept, but there it is. The other part of me feels obligated to find a legit job somewhere, earn money for a year in preparation for grad school, and get a master's or something greater. hmmm...Which part of myself will win??

Stay tuned you three followers! And maybe we'll find out together. hahah

Oh and my favorite song today is "The Girl," by a wonderful, newly discovered band called "City and Colour." Check it out.

Thanksgiving Break

Wow. I'm so tired of school. Tomorrow is my last day and then I get a week off for Thanksgiving. I'm so excited! I was inspired to write a poem today after eating lunch on campus on a study break. It's the simple, mundane things in life that are worth writing about sometimes. I'll post it here for you guys to see:

The Crossroads: Make a Connection

“This one’s my favorite,”

a large, toque blanche-donned woman whispers

in my ear as I stand statue-like

at the soup bar.

“It took us forever to make.”

I nod in respectful awe as I

delicately agitate the contents of

the large silver pot labeled:

“Cherokee Pepper Pot Soup”

The okra spoke to me first, then the carrots.

I sit alone in the most isolated corner

I can find,

slurping incessantly,

shocked by each swallow,

reviewing my mental “to do” list:

read Mosiah 2 en español

write annotated bibliography

read/ write poetry

call Kristin

make Scotty a birthday card

solidify ride for weekend

take a fat nap

BYU-Idaho breathes around me and

I peruse, I speculate, I eavesdrop.

The two girls to my right catch my attention:

“My teacher mentioned the KKK today,”

the one wearing navy and an interesting headband says.

“In American foundations he singled me out

because I’m black, and asked ‘what do you think?’”

she recounts.

“I was like: ‘I don’t know. What do YOU think?

I didn’t live in that time.’”

Her Latin friend laughs approvingly,

affirming the absurdness of the situation.

They discuss how strange it is to be

colored at BYU-Idaho

I laugh at what a remarkable place the Crossroads is

and smile, mouth full of Cherokee pepper pot.

The day has finally come!

Wow. Here I am writing my first blog that no one will read.:) You guys have been on my back about making one of these forever (..Jansen) and last night at 2 a.m., as I was "writing" a paper, lightning struck and I knew I could no longer avoid the blogcosmos. So here goes nothing...